Baby Talk

Written by Zhey Chua |Posted on August 1, 2008 | Comments

So, whatever happened to this?

Four months ago, I wrote about our plan and DESIRE to get pregnant. We were so sure then that it was the next best thing to do – and the next best NORMAL thing to happen – under the circumstances. We were married, we had good jobs and we were so excited to start “popping babies out” (haha!).

We scouted around for good Gynecologists, in fact, we have already decided on one, a specialist recommended by Sis. Gigi, but then we never got the chance to pay her a visit. Whenever we would resolve to do so, something would come up and divert our attention.

Three months later, Warren and I moved out of Manila to my hometown here in Angeles City where we are now being given the the opportunity to minister to some of my friends. We also launched our own online business and got caught up with other projects we wanted to implement, all of which are incidentally in relation to ministering to a wider audience. The plan to have a baby took a backseat altogether.

As a (still) newly married couple, we always get questions like, “aren’t you pregnant yet?” or something somewhere along those lines. I used to dodge those questions like I was dodging bullets because I felt they opened up wounds -fertility issues which need yet to be examined- and solicited either pity or ridicule.

These days however, I kind of liked being asked because it opens up opportunities for me to share the gospel. I have learned to smile and wholeheartedly say, “No, we aren’t.” which normally elicits follow up questions like, “how come? Don’t you want to have one yet?” and the likes and it is always at this point that I joyously celebrate because it is also at this point that I get to say, “Well, I fully trust my Lord and I know that He will give us a child if He sees fit …” and so on. It becomes an avenue to open up discussions about spiritual things and it’s amazing how I no longer feel that gnawing pain I used to feel.

So, do we really want to start having a baby now? The answer is really simple. Yes, we do want to have a baby, BUT only if it is God’s will. As my husband once wrote in one of his posts, “we dont know what His plans are, all we see is where He is taking us…”

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Side Note: A turning point for me regarding this issue is when I listened to an mp3 recording of Don Green’s “The Master’s Design” series.
Don Green emphasized on how women nowadays see child-bearing as the ultimate completion of their womanhood and yet, how they fail to see their children as undeserved gifts from God. I can still clearly remember his words, he emphasized that children are gifts from God, undeserved gifts, and however it doesn’t mean that if God decides not to gift a marriage with a child, He loves this union less. No. He just has other plans.
Don Green’s reassuring message of hope to women like me who have fertility issues has helped me cope with my insecurity and tremendously helped me learn to embrace this disability and use it to glorify my God.