To Be or Not To Be

Written by Zhey Chua |Posted on December 1, 2008 | Comments

To be or not to be, that is the question.

This is the first time I will ever speak/write about this issue and probably will also be the last (unless maybe someone asks me again on a different platform from blogging). As a wife, I have always feared the thought of my husband standing up there behind the pulpit every Sunday and probably on some weekdays. I am afraid of being robbed what little peace and quiet we have together to give way to occasional unexpected visitors seeking counsel or fellowship with him and I am scared that what little time he has left for me right now, because of his spending more time with his books in the office, will be lessened to almost nothing. I am terrified of the thought of my husband being exposed to temptations, not just of the flesh, but of power.

BUT I AM NOT GOD.

I have no right to stunt his growth in his Christian walk. I have no right to choose what I want for my husband to become, what path he should follow, or at up to what extent shall he allow himself to be used by our dearest, gracious Father in Heaven.

The past days, we’ve been battling back and forth with leadership issues. What is our stand, where should we stand, who should we listen to? As a wife, I can only give my husband a piece of what I know is Biblically sound (I hope) and forthright, there were questions raised, thought-provoking questions injected and suddenly, I find him being thrown out of his comfort zone (which is also just as good because he tends to relax when he finds his comfort zone and just let the wind take him along).

I’d like to be objective, as much as possible, in light of this issue. Where is God really calling Warren? Out in the fields as an evangelist or behind the pulpit as a pastor? If we look at Scriptures, the mandate for leadership is clear. Is Paul’s exhortation for such an important issue a subject for interpretation still? Or is it so simple enough to understand? If the requirements/qualifications (whatever you may call them) are really that constricting, is anyone really qualified? Will God allow a shortage of leaders knowing that in man’s depravity and fallen-ness, it will really be hard to meet His standard? Warren argued, “Yeah! No one can really meet His standard! No one can really measure up to His qualification for leadership,”
I injected, “Right, but because of God’s grace, there will still be pastors who will rise up, God’s grace, is His grace limited? In the same way that I would ask if His forgiveness is limited? Or His sovereignty?” We would go on and on and if not for other things we have yet to attend to, I just know that we could go on forever discussing this matter, breaking it down to little pieces, down to the minutest detail.

Please don’t get me wrong. I am not being like Eve who planted a seed of doubt in Adam’s heart, or the serpent who seduced Eve to partake of the fruit of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Those questions came up in the midst of a healthy debate and I wanted to let my husband think for himself, and be faithful to what God is really saying to him and to where God is really calling him. As a true child of God, should we really listen to what others have to say about the matter? Should we concern ourselves with theological viewpoints, explore other explanations and interpretations? We have the Scriptures and that should be sufficient. We each have a personal relationship with God and if we are faithful to his Word, then we should be faithful to what God is telling us, or where is He leading us. Only we can discern His divine purpose for us.