Just in the nick of time

Written by Zhey Chua |Posted on February 8, 2009 | Comments

Honeymoon’s over.

Warren and I have been arguing a lot lately and it isn’t easy for us both. I want him to grow up already and my impatience is getting the best of me. There are times I try so hard to shut my mouth but I just explode. When I try to stifle it, it just stays brewing within and it’s hard, I can’t just stand there and say nothing. I just can’t. That’s just how I was built. And often, I wish that it isn’t so.

Sigh…

When Warren first announced he’s pursuing the pastorate, I did a happy dance. I was so sure my husband is the man for the job. I know how much he loves the Lord and I admire him for that. I especially admire his zeal and strong faith. That is why I loved him even more when he chose to take an active role in Christ’s ministry.

Little did I know that soon, this would also bring us to where we are now.

Warren studies like a dutiful student, he would study more than eight hours a day, six days a week and then some more on Sunday nights before we would go to sleep. On some days some errands needed to be attended to, he would volunteer to help but he would always be impatient. In December and January there were occasions where we needed to meet up with friends and family and I often found myself just as in a hurry to go home because I knew all Warren wanted was to be in front of his books studying than drinking Kool-Aid with me and my best friend whom he met for the first time. There were also several times when I would try to engage him in a conversation and all the response he could give was a series of “uhummm…” “yeah…” “hmmm…”, he would pretend to be listening but he actually isn’t because he’s immersed in a Theology book or mp3 recording. You see, it is all just frustrating me too much and the sad part of it all is that I realized I am already feeling bitter and angry just now. I know, I should have seen this coming and I should have set boundaries to make him keep everything in a certain balance, but I did not.

Thankfully, the Lord has provided for us a couple whom we can run to for counseling and whom we can talk freely to about our woes. This couple, who are very very dear to us, welcomed us not just in their church but also in their lives when we moved to CBC. They have since remained our counselors and family. So, yes, we already talked about it a few days ago and I am happy to report that Warren is willing to turn things around. However, again I need to exercise patience because no one has the ability to change overnight. There are still moments of frustration, like when I tell him to take the laundry in and he’d say yes but never do it, or when I’d politely ask him to flush the toilet and he’d look at me like I’ve gone nuts and he’d just go back to what he was doing, or when I’d tell him that scrubbing the floor without the use of a mop hurts my back so we better get a mop already and he’d cluck his tongue in response and tell me, “can’t you see I’m studying?” Sigh.

Anyway… Time. The point of this post is that I need time and attention from my husband, too. Studying six days a week for more than eight hours and then some more on Sunday evenings just doesn’t make room for a wife, does it?

And then of course, I thank God for His grace on our marriage because He showed us where we are just in the nick of time.