Father’s day blues?

Written by Zhey Chua |Posted on June 18, 2009 | Comments

This morning, a dear friend and brother asked me if I would be sad for Warren this Father’s Day. I stopped dead in my tracks in an attempt to digest the question, would I be so callous if I’d say I won’t be? But, that is how I feel. I won’t feel sad for Warren, nor would I feel bad about it, just like I didn’t feel bad for myself on Mother’s day.

It was never a secret that Warren and I had gone through a series of fertility work ups in the past in an attempt to conceive a child of our own. Obviously, those trips to the specialists did not prove to be very successful, although we both realize that there are more tests that we need to undergo still, but you know, somehow we just both got too stressed out about all of it and we have to admit, the whole process is not just financially draining to a point, but even emotionally and psychologically frustrating. When our last work up didn’t produce positive results, we agreed to take things slow once more and just kind of let things happen.

Life went on, we looked for ways to enjoy life as a childless couple and we continued on with our Christian journey. Last month, we adopted Missy, then Calvin and just last week, Coco. Yeah, I know, they’re cats, not humans, but life with them around is a bit less routinary. And then, Warren got a decent-paying full time, home-based job while I began subcontracting transcription projects to other VAs I know. Around the time Warren received the job offer, he also started speaking in a home bible study being conducted weekly nearby. Last week, I also started leading a women’s bible study group in Calulut.

Everything was far from perfect, but we’ve certainly progressed a lot and life was getting more and more “structured” in a sense. Husband provides and leads in the home, he ministers to his wife by leading nightly devotionals and mini-bible studies, plus he also ministers to the brethren. Wife stays at home as a full-time housewife and like the Proverbs 31 woman, she earns extra from her own business endeavors without sacrificing her responsibilities in the home and she also now gets to minister to other women. Then, they have house pets, three lovely, cuddly, cute Persian cats.

So when the question came, I had to stop and think and munch on it for a while. Would I be sad for Warren this Father’s Day because the whole world and our church,in particular, will be celebrating and giving tribute to the fathers and Warren is not one of them?

There is more to life than being fathers or mothers. When the Lord saved me, He has already given me everything that I will ever need. God’s main purpose for our existence is to glorify and serve Him and there is nothing more that I would want than for Warren and I to live the rest of our lives in service to our One True God, child or no child. That is all that matters. That is all that God intended for His creation. God has already been so gracious to us both, making Himself known to us, sending His Son to die on the cross as a ransom for our own sinfulness and even making us Jesus Christ’s co-heirs to the Kingdom. Why else should I feel sad? I have everything, for I have my Lord and my Savior.