Comments on: Father’s Day Pity Party http://www.afterhisownheart.com/2009/06/22/fathers-day-pity-party/ Blogging Truths in a Deceptive World Thu, 28 Jan 2010 06:18:47 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Richard http://www.afterhisownheart.com/2009/06/22/fathers-day-pity-party/comment-page-1/#comment-3516 Richard Fri, 24 Jul 2009 00:40:43 +0000 http://www.afterhisownheart.com/?p=2096#comment-3516 Zhey and Warren - I 'stumbled' across your site this afternoon. My partner and I have walked a similar path to the one that you and your wife find yourselves on, right now. After five years of a variety of fertility treatments - and cycle after cycle of no pregnancy - we decided to become parents through adoption. For us, it was the right choice at the right time. It took more years - and we are happier now than we ever thought we would be. It was difficult, as a husband, to watch my wife's pain and know that there was nothing I could do about it. It was difficult to know my own pain, and not be able to do anything about it. My beloved and I are both ministers in our church. It came as a shock how quickly we began to wonder "what it was we had done that God would punish us like this." Especially when neither of us has ever believed that God would use such a thing as fertility as "punishment". During that time of our lives, I learned something very important. God has big shoulders. There were times I couldn't pour my pain - and my anger - anywhere else. There were times my prayers were screaming at the top of my lungs about the injustice of the situation. The shame I felt for blaming God disappeared at the realization that God loved me, no matter what I said or felt. Whatever may come - however you may share your lives with a child, or many children - my prayers will be that you always know that you are beloved children of God and siblings of Christ. Our prayers are with you. Christ's peace - Richard Zhey and Warren -

I ’stumbled’ across your site this afternoon.

My partner and I have walked a similar path to the one that you and your wife find yourselves on, right now. After five years of a variety of fertility treatments – and cycle after cycle of no pregnancy – we decided to become parents through adoption. For us, it was the right choice at the right time. It took more years – and we are happier now than we ever thought we would be.

It was difficult, as a husband, to watch my wife’s pain and know that there was nothing I could do about it. It was difficult to know my own pain, and not be able to do anything about it.

My beloved and I are both ministers in our church. It came as a shock how quickly we began to wonder “what it was we had done that God would punish us like this.” Especially when neither of us has ever believed that God would use such a thing as fertility as “punishment”.

During that time of our lives, I learned something very important. God has big shoulders. There were times I couldn’t pour my pain – and my anger – anywhere else. There were times my prayers were screaming at the top of my lungs about the injustice of the situation. The shame I felt for blaming God disappeared at the realization that God loved me, no matter what I said or felt.

Whatever may come – however you may share your lives with a child, or many children – my prayers will be that you always know that you are beloved children of God and siblings of Christ.

Our prayers are with you.

Christ’s peace – Richard

]]> By: Warren Chua http://www.afterhisownheart.com/2009/06/22/fathers-day-pity-party/comment-page-1/#comment-3515 Warren Chua Thu, 23 Jul 2009 23:28:21 +0000 http://www.afterhisownheart.com/?p=2096#comment-3515 thank you alastair for your encouragement. God bless you. thank you alastair for your encouragement. God bless you.

]]> By: alastair http://www.afterhisownheart.com/2009/06/22/fathers-day-pity-party/comment-page-1/#comment-3512 alastair Thu, 23 Jul 2009 21:20:59 +0000 http://www.afterhisownheart.com/?p=2096#comment-3512 hey. i imagine you are familiar. 1 Samuel 1. she too... wept bitterly and was very very troubled. its awesome that you are seeking what God wants. in this story, I see that she wants to have a son, but also wants to give him to God. maybe you may have, or maybe you may not have children, but, I do think God loves children and gosh, he so loved the world. and he loves his sons and daughters. I am sad also just being aware that your hearts ache like this... dont let that be discouraging though. i think it is beautifl for us to carry eachohters burdens and care for one another and their hearts that may have pure desire. :-) hey. i imagine you are familiar. 1 Samuel 1.

she too… wept bitterly and was very very troubled. its awesome that you are seeking what God wants. in this story, I see that she wants to have a son, but also wants to give him to God. maybe you may have, or maybe you may not have children, but, I do think God loves children and gosh, he so loved the world. and he loves his sons and daughters. I am sad also just being aware that your hearts ache like this… dont let that be discouraging though. i think it is beautifl for us to carry eachohters burdens and care for one another and their hearts that may have pure desire. :-)

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